My husband gave me a compliment the other day that has made a huge impact on how I view myself now.
First, a little back story...
My whole life I've felt like I'm surrounded by people who do things just a little bit better than I do. In elementary school my handwriting was good, but my friends were better. In Junior High I was in choir and felt like a pretty good singer, but my peers were better. In high school I played softball my freshman year and was pretty good, but my teammates were better. Then when I got married I felt like a pretty good housewife, but listening to comments in church, my ward friends were better. I've always felt like a good writer, but my husband is better. Now I feel like a pretty good mom, but my Facebook and Pinterest friends are better.
Then one day my husband told me he thinks I'm a good singer. I laughed it off and told him he was crazy and he continued to say he thought I was better than certain people (which I won't name, but people I view as good singers). It's hard for me to take a compliment so I just moved onto a new topic, but what he said has really impacted my day to day operations.
First of all, I've always loved to sing, but I've been surrounded by people who are good singers so I've developed some insecurities in my own talents. In church I started singing soft enough that nobody around me could really hear me, but by doing so it made it hard to hit any high notes so I would "mess up" and feel even less capable in my abilities. But, hearing my husband tell me I'm a good singer has given me confidence. Now I project when I sing and I don't care who hears me or who's better than me!
But it's more than that. His simple compliment has changed how I look at myself. I feel more confident about a lot of things because I've realized that it doesn't matter who's better. What matters is who tries. I may not be the best singer, but I try. I may not be the best wife, but I try. I may not be the best mom, but I try. I do what I'm capable of doing to the best of my abilities and at the end of the day that's all that matters. It's not about who packs their husband a lunch everyday for work or who puts together elaborate activities for their kids that they found on Pinterest. It's not about who sings better or who's more athletic...
...It's about how you approach your talents and how they make YOU feel. Nobody else matters when it comes to your own abilities and personal strengths.
So I'm proposing a challenge.
Give someone a compliment, but make it worth while.
I'm not talking, "cute shoes, great haircut, good lesson". Those are nice things to hear, but sometimes they seem meaningless. They're conversation starters or silence fillers.
Instead, compliment someone on their talents. If you liked their cooking, tell them why it was good. If they taught a good lesson in church, tell them what hit home for you. Tell your husband what he's good at and why. My husband could have said he thinks I'm a good singer and left it at that, but he kept going. He gave me a reason to believe what he was saying was true.
Give someone a self-esteem boost because at the end of the day we all have our own insecurities and compliments can go a long way in helping us feel more confident. Even the people who we think are so confident on the outside, have insecurities on the inside. So compliment away. You never know what impact you can have on somebody's life!
