The Husband and Having a Baby

This post is more of a discussion post than one with good ideas. I have a few ideas of my own, but I would love to hear your thoughts as well!

I'm expecting my first baby in May, we're so excited! This post deals with how to make sure my husband is included in pregnancy, especially labor and delivery. The question is: What is the best way to do this?

We will be attending a Lamaze class together, as he will be my coach through labor and delivery, which I think will help him feel included. He also loves to feel the baby kick, so he's somewhat involved in pregnancy, but I feel like there are other things I could do.

What did you do to include your husband when you had kids?

Thanks in advance for all your great opinions! Feel free to check back for other comments and reply so we can have a full discussion.

Food Storage A Little At A Time

I like to be prepared especially when it comes to food storage.  I feel more at peace when I know I have enough food to last at least a few weeks.  I've been there before where I could only buy milk, eggs and bread.  I am grateful I have had food storage.

My major problem with food storage is that I don't have a lot of space to store it.  I have had to convert a whole closet into my food storage space.

Diaper, Wipes, Water Bottles

 Cereal, Brownie and Cake Mixes, Homemade Salsa

My shelf with everything else.  It's a little unorganized right now.

I hope to have this filled to the top one day.  As for now, I am slowly adding to it when I can.  One thing that really helps me decide what to get and when to get it is a site called Deals to Meals.  It tells me what stores have the best deals for specific things.  When something I need is at a good price, I take that list to Walmart and price match.  This has really worked for me the past few months.

My last shopping trip went like this:  I spent $67.60 and got 53 items.  Basically that averages to $1.27 per item.  Here are the items I brought home for food storage:

• 5lb. bag of sugar
• 5lb. bag of flour-2
• box of pasta-3
• ramen noodles-8
• fudge brownie mix-4
• milk-3

Not a ton this week, but some weeks you may have better luck than others.  The thing with Deals to Meals is that it is about $5 a month.  Now if you are not convinced, here is one more thing that might persuade you to check it out.  This site also gives me meal plans with the recipes and a shopping list that is easy to follow and all you have to do is print it and go.  I know their site says you get 2 weeks free and I don't know how long it lasts.  Check it out and see what you think.

This is what I do to slowly get my food storage. What about you?

1.  What systems are working for you?
2.  Do you like to get a little at a time or would you rather get your food storage all at once?

My Top 10 Baby Items

Before I had my baby I was often asked what I wanted or still needed for her. Being a first time mom made it hard for me to answer that question. Now that I've been able to actually use the things we have, here is my list of Must-Haves in no particular order:

Diaper Garbage. I always change the babe in her room which is upstairs. It makes it nice to have a designated place to throw away diapers rather than have to always go out to the garage to throw them away. I can guarantee without it, there would always be a pile of diapers to take out to the garbage! For some people it may not be necessary because they have "diaper stations" around the house and change their baby anywhere. When my baby was newborn I occasionally changed her in the family room, but most always, and now only always, I change her in her room so all the diapers get put in the diaper garbage.

Bumbo. When it comes to waste or want, this is definitely a want for me. It's perfect to sit her in to do her hair!!! Plus it's nice to have her sit at the dinner table with us (even though it says not to use on elevated surfaces). Now that we're doing solids it's nice to use in place of a booster seat. I like having her right on the dining table instead of in a high chair or booster seat strapped to a dining chair because any mess she makes lands on the table and I don't have to sweep or vacuum the rug under the table after every meal. It's also nice because it doesn't take up space like a highchair does and whenever we travel or go to restaurants we bring it along!

Boppi. I've heard a lot of people say this is a waste, but I love it! I used it for nursing when my baby was teeny tiny and I also used it to sit her in. It was perfect for when she was a newborn, and I think it worked great once she started sitting up to keep her from falling over, or at least give her a pillow to fall onto. My only qualm is that it doesn't work well to use for nursing when sitting in a chair with arms (like a glider rocker) and it wraps all the way around my waist making it uncomfortable to lean back in a chair. Other than that I love it and it's definitely gotten it's money's worth...Free! (But had I of spent the money it would have been worth it!)

Plus it's fun to hide under a blanket or sheet and use for a photo shoot when she's too small to sit up on her own!

Rocking Chair/Bouncer.  This was the only picture I could find and I'm too lazy to pull out the camera to get a better shot of it! This bouncer is kind of big, but it converts into a rocking chair and she can still use it as a toddler. It has a kick stand to keep it from rocking and puts it in a reclined position so we started using it from day one and she's now 8 months old and we still use it. It's nice because it's one we can use for a while before she outgrows it. If I didn't have this rocking chair I still would have used a bouncer. It's just nice to have her up off the floor from time to time.

Bottle Warmer. To most this isn't necessary to have, but I've used it a lot and it's been a life saver. Breast milk out of the fridge or freezer takes FOREVER to warm. We would turn the water on as hot as it would go and 20 minutes later we would have a warm bottle if we were lucky. The bottle warmer takes 90 seconds. Music to my ears!

Baby Monitor. I didn't use this very much for the first 3 months of her life, but I use it all the time now.

Baby Sling. I use this far more than her stroller. It's so much easier than having to drag out the stroller and it leaves me hands free to do other things. Plus with walking the dog the leash isn't constantly getting tangled up in the stroller.

Nursing Cover. I can't even tell you how many times and random places this thing has been used. It has definitely been a life saver. Learning how to use it was really frustrating. It seems like it would be pretty basic, but it took a lot of practice. I started using it at home to get better at it so I wouldn't feel so frustrated trying to figure it out in a public place. It's also a lot easier to use than trying to stay covered with a blanket.

Changing Pad. Before I got one of these for the diaper bag I set her on top of the nursing cover so she wasn't directly on the counter at the church. (I would have changed her directly on the counter, but I felt bad having her bare skin on the cold counter so I wanted something under her). She then peed all over the nursing cover and I hadn't even fed her yet! That's when I knew it was time to invest in a changing pad.

SwaddleMe Blanket. I love this one! She sleeps so much better when she's tightly swaddled and she wiggles enough that she can't escape this one like she can a regular blanket.

Honorable Mentions:

Elmer's Glue. When she was born she was 3lbs 10oz which meant she had a tiny head! Headband bows wouldn't stay on because they were too big so instead I glued little bows on her head. If you feel weird putting glue in your baby's hair, the NICU uses K*Y Jelly...! Both wash right out with water, but the glue dries fast and holds better because it's not oil based.

Floor Mat Thing. This one can easily be on the top ten, but I made the list before we started using it. I should have pulled it out sooner, but I forgot about it. It's a must-have now, because it's perfect for keeping my puppy from trampling over the babe when he's playing fetch. I lived without the play mat for 4 months and we got along just fine with using a blanket on the floor and toys around her, but now that it's out I don't think we'll go back! Plus she would kick her legs and swings her arms so much that she started noticing the toys so I think it helped with her development. We stopped using it after she became more mobile and would roll off of it all the time.

A 2nd Car Seat Base. (not pictured) It is SO much easier to have a base in both cars. The base is a pain to get in and out and I was/am the paranoid mom that wants my child to be as safe as possible.

Video Camera and Camera. Okay, these aren't baby items, but they were must-haves before the baby came. My dad ALWAYS video taped events in our lives when we were little. We have every Christmas and most birthdays and random moments when he felt the need to drag out the camera. Back then it was a bigger deal because it was a beast to get out and actually held a full sized VHS tape. Yikes! I didn't actually start taping Shasta until she was 2 months old because she didn't do anything and it makes me sad that I didn't start sooner because it's crazy to see how tiny she was even at 2 months. It's sad how quickly I can forget.

Items I never felt the need to buy:

Baby Swing. I tried my sister's while I was at her house and my baby loved it, but it's not something I felt the need to go out and buy. I'm sure it would be nice to have, but I have enough other places to lay her down that it's not a NEED to have it. I also feared I would constantly put her in it and not set her on the floor enough for her to learn to roll and practice tummy time.

Baby bath. I didn't want a collection of items that only get used for a short time and then have to be stored. We have a deep kitchen sink that fits her perfectly and it's nice to stand while I bathe her rather than be bent over a tub. Plus I only bathed her every two to three days when she was a newborn so it wasn't a necessity to me.

 What baby items are must-haves for you?
From the list above, what items do you agree or disagree with?
For soon-to-be moms, are there any items you have questions about?

Video Games

I think a lot of wives find themselves frustrated with their husband's playing video games and don't know how to handle it. We all have different levels of tolerance and while some wives may get annoyed after 5 minutes of gaming, other wives may tolerate a few hours before they feel frustrated. Here are some of my thoughts when it comes to video games.

1. My husband plays as a hobby. I can suggest limitations, but I can't stop him from playing completely unless I'm willing to give up my own hobbies which is something I would never recommend.
2. He plays video games to unwind from his frustrations at work just like some people choose to watch tv or read a book.
3. We have rules about video game ratings and what games are acceptable in our home. He's not allowed to play games with graphic violence or language in front of me and especially not in front of our child/ren.
4. I try to remember that he works full time with tons of over time, goes to school, does his homework, and gets good grades so it's okay for him to indulge every now and then and play for longer periods of time than I would normally like.

On the days when I'm feeling frustrated that my husband is playing video games and being oblivious to his surroundings I first ask myself what kind of day has he had and if he needs an escape more than I need his help. It helps me be more sensitive to his needs and allows me to approach the situation differently. If  I feel it's more important for him to help me put away laundry or whatever the case may be - rather than stew about him playing video games while thinking he knows I want his help and he's choosing to ignore me, or snapping at him for not helping which only makes the work load that much more unpleasant, I calmly ask him to help me put away the laundry because it's too much for me to do by myself. There's never been a time when he hasn't helped me after I've directly asked him. It may take him a while to actually come help because he needed to get to a safe point in the game, but the point is he still helps and that's what really matters.

Like I said before, we're all in different situations and our husbands have different desires toward playing video games so our experiences are all different.

• What are ways that you handle your husband's video game appetite? 
• Do you only allow a certain amount of time per day/week that he can play? 
• Are there rules for when he can play like once the chores are done? 
• Do you have a budget for buying video games? 
• What do you do to feel less frustrated by it?

Welcome Back!

Now that the Holidays are over, school has started, and we're back into a routine it's time to pick back up with the Better Wives Club blog. This year will hopefully bring some exciting posts. We're adding a few more authors to help better meet the needs of our readers too. Hopefully this will make you want to tell your friends about the blog and have them join our club! I'm especially excited to be taking two different classes in school that will help me contribute posts on parenting and nurturing your marriage! It should be fun!