This post is more of a discussion post than one with good ideas. I have a few ideas of my own, but I would love to hear your thoughts as well!
I'm expecting my first baby in May, we're so excited! This post deals with how to make sure my husband is included in pregnancy, especially labor and delivery. The question is: What is the best way to do this?
We will be attending a Lamaze class together, as he will be my coach through labor and delivery, which I think will help him feel included. He also loves to feel the baby kick, so he's somewhat involved in pregnancy, but I feel like there are other things I could do.
What did you do to include your husband when you had kids?
Thanks in advance for all your great opinions! Feel free to check back for other comments and reply so we can have a full discussion.
3 comments:
Nick came to ALL of my appointments with me. I wanted him to hear everything the Dr had to say because I knew my pregnant brain wouldn't be able to relay the information back to him.
At home I basically turned off my filter and told him everything. If I didn't he wouldn't know exactly what I was going through.
There were plenty of times that I would put his hand on my belly or lift my shirt for him to watch my belly move.
He read to my belly every night from 5 months on. He wanted to make sure she would know his voice and he wants her to be smart and love books. The first book he read to her was Chronicles of Narnia.
I was in the hospital for 7 days and he hardly left my side. He gave me a blessing which helped me feel his support and him feel like there was something he could do for me!
As far as labor goes my experience is very different from most. There was never a time that I felt contractions or needed a hand to squeeze to get me through it. I didn't have an epidural, but he held my hand when the Dr broke my water (not that I needed it since I hardly felt it, but I didn't know it wouldn't hurt so I wanted his hand to hold)! There wasn't much for me to include him in since I was so out of it from the medication I was on.
Unfortunately, I don't have ANY tips for including him in the delivery. I was unconscious and he wasn't allowed in the operating room so neither one of us were there for it. He did get to follow the team of doctors and nurses to the NICU and watch them work on our baby and for a day and a half he kept me updated on her since I wasn't where I could go see her yet.
Eric is coming to all of my appointments too, which I really appreciate! Definitely agree on the pregnant brain. :)
The most important thing for me was to just remember that it is different for a dad than for a mom. If it is weird for him to feel your belly, don't push it. Communicate your feelings, especially your fears to him. Let him know how much it means to you that he is always by your side. Take your cues from him on how involved he wants to be.
I really think the most important thing is to make sure you don't forget that you are still a couple. Take time before and after baby comes to keep dating and working on your relationship together. The last thing your want is for your husband to somehow resent the baby for being the new favorite in the house. Hope this helps, even though I don't think I explained it right...
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